Sunrise

Capture Your Grief 2015
Day #1: Sunrise

I woke up early this morning to find the best place to view the sunrise.  Once I arrived at my spot, I sat and enjoyed the peace and quiet for a bit.  The sky was still dark and the world seemed to still be sleeping.  Then the sky began to glow in colors of yellows, pinks, and light blues as the new day was dawning.  It was beautiful.  I longed to sit there forever and soak it all in.  Soon, a fisherman pulled up next to me in a noisy pickup and began pulling his equipment out of the bed of his truck.  I glared at him and silently willed him to hurry up and move along so I could enjoy the sunrise again.  In just seconds my peaceful morning was becoming invaded by the hustle and bustle of life.  

I often feel this same way about my grief journey.  There are moments when I want to just sit and be alone to examine my feelings.  I want to talk to God without any distractions.  I want to cry behind closed doors and let out my frustrations.  And I often feel anger when someone distracts me from my quiet thoughts or my alone time.  I feel resentment because they can't possibly understand my grief.  With these feelings of anger and resentment, I find myself pulling away from family and friends to be alone.  And from this I have learned: being alone is one thing, and feeling lonely is quite another.  

This peaceful morning reminded me that alone time is wonderful for the soul.  It is a time to talk to God and to marvel in the beauty around us that He created.  It is a time to reconnect and to recharge.  But God created our world so that we may share our experiences with others.  It is important to be with others, to talk to one another, and to experience life's joys and tragedies together.  Because how lonely would life be if we didn't have anyone to share it (the good and the bad) with?  

This morning, instead of looking at the fisherman in disgust because he ruined my peaceful moment, I should have said "good morning".  I should have greeted him with a smile.  I should have been the supportive person that God created me to be.  Because just maybe, that fisherman was having a rough morning.  Just maybe he lost someone he loved too.  And maybe he needed that friendly smile to help start his day off right.  We don't know one another's journeys in life, but we do know that God created us to be a community.  He doesn't want us to feel lonely.