Day #4: Dark + Light
After Gabriella passed away, I felt like I had unwillingly entered a black tunnel. There was no turning back, the only way to go was forward. In the beginning the darkness overtook me. I felt sad every second of every day. I felt hopeless and alone. It was a scary path and I didn't know how I would ever find my way out. All I knew was that I just had to keep moving forward. To help me navigate the darkness, I prayed to God. I asked for strength and for guidance. Anything to help me along the way. And eventually I began to see a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel.
I started writing about my feelings, and the light became a bit brighter. I spent time with family and friends and learned to laugh again. I read scriptures and found meaning from the Bible. I looked at my boys and saw purpose and love. And with all of this, the light became clearer and my path became a little bit easier.
I still feel like I am trying to navigate my way out of this tunnel. Some days are easier than others. There are days where I feel like the light burns out and the path becomes so dark that I am forced to just stay still. Those are my tough days. And I think it's okay to have these tough days. To stop and feel the feelings that take over my body. To cry and scream and question. Because there is a clarity that comes after these tough days. An understanding of the path that I am on. And with that understanding comes the light, and I am able to move forward once again.
Then Jesus spoke to them, saying "I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life." ~John 8:12
No comments:
Post a Comment